Being Asian and growing up in Australia, I have seen my fair share of racism on TV. From overt stereotypes to more subtle microaggressions, I’ve seen it all.

And while we’ve certainly come a long way since the times of Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles and Mickey Rooney dressing up in a yellowface as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast At Tiffany’s… we just can’t seem to escape the pervasive racism that creeps into the media we consume, even today.

Being an avid reality TV watcher, I look forward to Married At First Sight every year. The dramatic dinner parties. The tense commitment ceremonies. And, yes… the love (I’m a romantic after all).

I must say that it’s been heartening to see the evolution of Aussie reality TV over the past few years, including efforts that have been made to make casts more diverse. And before you jump down my throat about how trivial reality TV representation is…. it matters.

As silly as reality dating shows might seem in the grand scheme of things, seeing people who look like me falling in love on screen and sometimes doing silly, stupid things too… is powerfully affirming.

But every now and then, as I’m lapping up the relationship drama and heated arguments, I see something that takes me right back to being that awkward teenager who heard time and time again, “I don’t date Asians”, like it was just a casual preference and not a rejection of an entire cultural identity.

This season of MAFS alone has had some truly stomach-turning moments of casual racism that nobody seems willing to address.

Let’s start with Jake. Oh, Jake. This man on MAFS 2025 crossed a line that had all our collective jaws on the floor. During that infamous photo ranking challenge, his comments about Awhina weren’t just hurtful — they were painfully rooted in racial stereotypes that have followed women of colour for generations.

Image: Nine. 

“I’m not racist, but I do like Caucasian people mostly,” Jake said.

“Awhina, she’s a bit Māori, I think. Probably why she’s not a bit higher. Just because of the physical features.”

Big yikes. I know.

Yet, while the experts held him accountable for his general comments about the women at the commitment ceremony, not a single person directly addressed the racist undertones. It wasn’t treated as an issue worthy of discussion, neither by the group nor by the so-called relationship experts.

The social media response was equally disappointing. Countless comments defended Jake for having a “preference.” Where was the outrage we saw for Tim’s fatphobic comments? Just as disgusting as it was for Tim to judge women based on their size, it’s equally reprehensible that Jake’s “preferences” were blatantly based on race.

Let’s be clear: preferences are fine. If you’ve written off an entire race of people as unattractive to you? Yeh, you’re the problem, sir.

There was another racially-questionable moment that went completely over everyone’s heads (not mine), and it was during Teejay’s date in final test week. When he mentioned being half Indian and half Greek, his date immediately responded with, “Ethnic! That’s on a checklist.” I’m sorry, what?

Image: Nine.

Ah yes, nothing says love and respect like treating someone’s cultural heritage as if you’re ticking off boxes for your diversity bingo card. Come on, it’s 2025. Are we really still throwing words like “ethnic” and “oriental” around like it’s a compliment?

But sadly, this isn’t new territory for MAFS. In 2022, we watched Selina Chhaur endure Cody’s prejudiced comments about his lack of attraction to her because of her Asian heritage or his “nationality” as they referred to it at the time. While it was mentioned, there was no real accountability for how fundamentally problematic his views were.

“I’m not racist by any means, but it’s not something I’m familiar with,” he said in response to a question about whether Selina’s race had anything to do with his lack of attraction to her.

“Yeah, to be honest, the short answer is it probably did… I’ve always sort of been open to the idea, it’s just something I’ve never normally gone for. And I don’t know what that’s from… personal preference.”

What hurts most isn’t just seeing these moments play out on screen — it’s watching them be minimised, excused, or ignored entirely. When racism is repackaged as “preference” or brushed aside as a non-issue, it sends a message to every Asian Australian watching: your experiences don’t matter enough to address properly.

Image: Nine. 

For all the progress reality TV claims to be making with diversity, these incidents reveal how superficial that commitment truly is. Including diverse cast members means nothing if you won’t protect their dignity or address the racism they face.

As I continue watching these shows (because yes, I’m still hopelessly addicted), I can only hope that next season, when someone makes a comment of this vein, the response won’t be silence — but the immediate, unequivocal callout that such racism deserves.

I guess we’ll have to wait until MAFS 2026 to see if anyone figures out the difference between having a ‘type’ and having a problem. I won’t hold my breath, but I will definitely keep the wine flowing.

Feature Image: Nine.